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Maria
Ng, Charles Wang, and Mai Luong |
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Top 10 Signs That He's a Jerk
(and that is definitely NOT referring to the
guy in the
photo above but to many others you will recognize below!)
by Mai Luong
with Maria Ng |
Now is probably not the best time to write an article about dating
because I just had a falling out with someone who means the world to me
but the show must go on. This
is more than just your average rant on how men these days suck - the kind
of rants that come about when you’re hopping mad one minute and you’re
all hugs and kisses the next second, literally. Nope. This “rant,” as some of you
might want to put it, is about the reality of the poor quality of men out
there that we just happen to notice because all the good men are too shy
and hiding, or simply because stupid women like me just happen to fall for
a significant other who might not be the Prince Charming we wanted.
Having spent two weeks living
and sleeping in complete solitude aside from eight other people in the
entire building, all I wanted were some residents who knew how to have
some good clean fun, residents I can bond with over fake fraps from Kelly
Café and some episodes of MONK off a non existent television (didn’t
arrive until last week and it’s October).
The first thing I heard from some of the more illustrious residents
of this campus was, “fresh meat!”
Now for those who don’t know what the hell those guys were
referring to, they were referring to the new freshmen girls. That’s right, those oh so loving, “I
just want to screw you one day and dump you the next day” men, were
already checking out the new chicks on campus who most likely haven’t
played this game before. Congrats to
those who haven’t fallen for it and to those who did, woe to you and you
can send me an e-mail in response and share your experience with the
community.
Anyway, not to bring all your
hopes down, there are probably many wonderful guys on this campus just
waiting to fulfill all your greatest hopes and dreams (note: I refuse to
take any responsibility for any love unrequited). Just because you set
your heart on Mr. Good Looking and he “seems” to be up to your
standards, chances are, he’s probably, actually mostly: one – not
everything you wanted, two – not interested, or three – hooked up to
someone else. And no, being
the girl on the side is DEFINITELY not an option. You are supposed to be the one and only. Okay, this article is supposed to be a
comeback to James Han’s article on dating at Stony Brook, which it will
be after this short ad.
Top 10 Signs that He’s a Jerk (by Mai Luong and Maria Ng)
10. This is the
same restaurant as your first date and it can't be purely coincidental
that once again he went to the bathroom when the waiter brought the check.
9. You need a hand
lugging your suitcase up Tabler steps and your hear his friends shouting,
“Run, Bob, run. No!!! Faster than last time you idiot.”
8. You’re not hearing
things; it’s that stalker who thinks animal calls were meant to attract
women too.
7. You’re on the phone and
after just two minutes of one-sided conversation you hear “zzzz…”
6. You bob your waist length
hair and dye it purple and all he says is, “Hi, what’s for dinner?”
5. You buy him a car remembering that he looks at every car in the street
and he says to you, “Babe, I was just checking me out.”
4. The man’s hands move so much your body
billed roaming charges.
3. You know his bald
spot like the back of your hand, but you can’t remember the color of his
eyes because they never rise above your chest.
2. You’re showing off
more skin than the naked cowboy and your boyfriend is giving your friends
the eye.
1. You hear him say to you,
“Hey sexy lady, I’m a meteorology major and I say the forecast for
today is hot, hot, hot.” (Please check out James Han’s column for more
pickup lines.)
Back to How to Spark a Romance at
Stony Brook Sans Car? (Part Deux)
Which is more fun to read, lists for lazy people like me who want me to
get to the point of this article or big paragraphs? Okay lists win.
The answer to this question is simple
1. You can do any or all of the things that James listed in his article
and kiss your chances goodbye (that’s if you totally misread your chick
and she doesn’t dig sports, you can’t play an instrument for your
life, or your bed sheets are disgusting). BUT you have the option of
reading two and three.
2.
If you are really into this person and this person is really into you, it
doesn’t really matter what you do or where because being with that
special person is all that matters. So
you can:
a. Watch the sunset or look at
the stars on the roof of the Earth, Space and Sciences building –
obviously for the romantics.
b. Make dinner together!
c. Pack a picnic basket, grab a blanket and have a picnic in one of
the ten million areas of grass at Stony that you can’t find in the city
other than
Central Park
.
d. Since it’s nearing
winter, stay in your rooms and watch a good movie. Don’t forget the popcorn, candy, warm
blanket, and hot chocolate.
e. When it snows, have a non-competitive snowball fight and let her
win if you think making a snow angel is beneath you.
f. I can’t think of anything more to write and its 3:00 am.
3. It’s the same thing as number 1 because that shows just
how much I love James. Oh, and
obviously, NEVER use one of his pick up lines seriously.
Mai Luong is News Editor of the AA E-Zine, an Honors College student,
RA of Greeley College, who read James' column on dating and decided there
needed to be another perspective. This is her first column and others will
deal with all aspects of being a student at Stony Brook University, many
of which she is fairly sure will be counterpoints to her fellow columnist,
James. Feel free to comment.
Click Here for James Han's column on dating.
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